The Story of Blood and Roses

How dependent could I be on it? I wondered, absent-mindedly as I looked at pictures of distant Greek islands.

All these places were beautiful, but how could I escape the danger that is my life and create a new identity for myself? The question seemed to chase away sleep without much effort. I had promised to not stop until I knew what I was going to do.

I started when I heard the familiar ringtone near me. I reached out and stared at the screen. It was Jacob. I didn\'t know what I was supposed to do.

He had said that he would contact his informants and that he would call if he had something important to convey. I was worried about the news he had received.

What if someone chases me all across the world? How would I live my dreams of a new life, then?

Hesitantly, I picked up the phone and pulled it to my ears.

"What news do you have for me this fine morning," I asked him in the most playful voice I could manage.

"Why didn\'t you tell me?" Panic seized me. I didn\'t know what he was talking about. I had kept too many secrets from him; the point was: which one did he find out about?

"What are you talking about?" I asked, playing the innocent flower.

"You know what I am talking about, Mia! Don\'t act so coy!" I pulled the cell phone away from my ear to protect it from his loud scream.

"I don\'t have the slightest clue-"

"Why didn\'t you mention that Anthony Murray was there," he cut me off, impatiently.

"I didn\'t think it was important," I told him, schooling my voice into a nonchalant baritone.

"Not important?" he hissed. "It makes me question your loyalty, Mia. How do I know that this is the only lie you have told me?"

"This is not the only lie I was told you, Jacob. You know that as well as I do." I sighed. "Do you really want to go over the same things again? I am tired of talking about a man who does not influence my life in any way," I lied. Flawless in my performance, I waited for him to reply.

"Does not influence- No, I can\'t believe you are saying this. You are the way you are because of him. Why do you think I haven\'t asked you to marry yet, Mia? Have you ever thought about that?" That snapped me out of my sassy stupor.

"No. I have always wondered, though. What made you change your mind today, Jacob."

"The man you say doesn\'t influence you in any way. His presence in your life matters to me. You were in love with him until he left you for dead. You never know, you might start remembering your pre-betrayal feelings for him."

"Is that the reason why you haven\'t married me yet?" He scoffed.

"No, Mia. That is not the only reason..." he trailed off and an uncomfortable silence filled the void.

"We should talk, Jacob," I whispered. He cleared his throat, and I knew that it was coming; both of us knew it. We had deferred it for a long time, but it had been inevitable since the beginning.

"Yes," he agreed. "You can come to the office whenever you want. I have no appointments today or tomorrow."

The battle was lost. A relationship based on benefits alone could never last. Both of us had hoped. Despite Jacob\'s love, his need for power and my need for simple conveniences had doomed the relationship since the beginning.

The worst part was that I felt no pain; I felt like a great burden was lifted off my shoulder.

I felt as if I had taken one step closer to finally live my life.